“Second halfterm” series of articles

2007

2007 Nov

Nov 05 Mon ‘Off with a bang’

The English lesson involved learning about full-stops. Mr English doesn’t like my (semi)colons; I still think semicolons are cool, and that colons are essential if things need to get from ilea to recta...

Did you know that an archaic plural for “colon” was “cola”? I’m sure Pepsi will be thrilled to hear it. When you’re next drinking Pepsi (or Coca-Cola), think of all the colons/cola in your glass/can/bottle. The punctuation-marks, I mean.

(It’s like bunting. Not the bird. Or Baby Bunting from the nursery rhyme.)

Nov 09 Fri

And then we went to a New York / Italian style restaurant for our evening meal. Coke and Cheeseburgers was what most of us chose for, apart from me; I had a nice Caesar salad. Coke + Cheeseburgers + Chips + Teenagers = ‘Will you please stop throwing food at me?’ ‘Hey, that’s my drink you’re putting the salt, pepper and tomato ketchup in’ ‘ Napkins are meant for the floor, table, or clothes, not for polluting my Coke and rendering it undrinkable’ ‘Will you please quieten down? Have you any empathy for the other people in this building?’ ‘Hey, that’s my lettuce and chicken you’re throwing at each other’ ‘That was my chair you’ve just sloshed my Coke over’ ‘Please stop blowing up the party balloons and letting them whizz off into other people’s coffee/tea’ ‘Look now, you’ve made people leave’ etc etc etc. Why were we not thrown out? It was just like the capital of Hell (Pandemonium), and in the midst of it all were waitresses peacefully handing out extra Cokes and desserts. My dessert was bananas and ice-cream... in custard. Ice-cream and custard’s quite nice together. Both are made from milk and egg. I think I’ve just written the longest paragraph in my blog, at two hundred and eighteen words. Go on, count them.

2007 Dec

Dec 05 Wed

An atrocious amalgamation of what can only be assumed to be mashed potato, meat (pork?), and a herb (parsley? not too sparsely?) was served for “school dinner” today. A more accurate description would be dogs’ feet mashed with anchovies (there was something fishy about it) boiled in custard and left to curdle for a couple of fortnights. And that’s just the so-called “mashed potato”! The “herbs” should be termed, “hay for suicidal sick horses who can’t tell the difference between hay and poison ivy”. “Cottage Pie” said the menu. ‘Never again’ said my stomach... about twenty times.

Dec 07 Fri

Surprisingly, History wasn’t about the Battle of Hastings, but Heraldry. I can draw a good eagle. I like it!