Article for 2011 Apr 17
Part of the “Sri Lanka” series.
2011
2011 Apr
(the first two articles in this series mention vomiting)
Throughout this series of articles, there are several phrases with the initials “IBIS”, alluding to my avian life-list, the Index of Birds I’ve Sensed, which I often added to whilst in Sri Lanka. The frequency of such phrases declines when I see fewer examples of new species. How many can you find? Some examples to start you off are:
- “...in beds (I slept)” (2011 Apr 10)
- “Iridescent birds including sapphire-green...” (2011 Apr 11)
- “I became increasingly soaked.” (2011 Apr 12)
- “Indeed, bee-eaters (II species)” (“II” being Roman numerals for “two”: I was getting desperate) (2011 Apr 13)
- “...is banned if swallows...” (2011 Apr 14)
- “Interesting. But I’m supposed...” (2011 Apr 17)
Apr 17 Sat
Talking of batik, we received guided tours of a batik factory. Dad purchased a lovely blue batik shirt for me; it has depictions of elephants on it.
We also received a tour of “spice gardens”. To demonstrate how beneficial various herbs and creams are to one’s skin and sanity and sanitation, we each were massaged. Strange.
Lunch was a buffet at a restaurant, involving bird in spicy sauce (I chickened out of eating eggstravagant quantities of that; I didn’t want to over-birden my taste-buds), nice rice, okra (not orca), beans, curry, salad greens, and rice. Pudding included bananas in skins - those bananas were of the short small straight Sri Lankan sort, not the long big curved Caribbean bananas so loved by Western super-markets - and also included cakes.
Then we visited some Buddhist caves upon a sun-heated mountain. Interesting. But I’m supposed to refrain from describing the caves, because Buddha doesn’t like that (apparently). The mischievous hungry monkeys won’t mind me describing them though.
Tea was grilled fish. Or, at least, some-thing, which smelt fishy, to the tuna 400 rupees (£2.29); I’m not so coy (or koi) that I’m reluctant to denounce - with solefulness - the m-eel as a bony grey wad worse than school-dinners, and served with a reel-y small portion of smashed potato. (I decided to be herring on the side of caution.)
Okay (it wasn’t), I’ll finish carping, and plaice some Sri Lankan jokes below, courte-sea of our tour-guide.
Q. How did a person put an elephant in a fridge using only three steps?
Show answer to Joke 1
Open the fridge door. Put the elephant in the fridge. Close the fridge door.
Q. The king cobra was getting married and invited all sorts of animals in the kingdom to his wedding. He gave to every animal in the kingdom a sarong (like a skirt or kilt) to wear at the wedding. Only one animal in the kingdom refused to wear his sarong. Which animal and why?
Show answer to Joke 2
The bat, because the sarong would fall over his face when he hung upside-down.
Q. Only one animal in the kingdom didn’t turn up at the wedding. Which animal and why?
Show answer to Joke 3
The elephant, who was still in the fridge.